


The cake debacle

by NeuStar747



Category: Benjaminutes - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-24 23:35:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14366124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeuStar747/pseuds/NeuStar747
Summary: Crack fic I guess? Bart makes a cake.





	The cake debacle

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Discord bois](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Discord+bois).



In all the time Bart has spent watching Christian snorting coke, or constant sporting a coke-stache, it never occurred to him why the white substance looked familiar. That was until Christian had bought a bag of flour and other ingredients to make a cake. 

Bart didn't realize he was staring at it until Christians gruff voice snapped him out of it. 

“What?” 

Christian’s ever constant glare somehow became more menacing.

“I said make a cake.”

Bart looked at Christian, wondering if he was kidding, but knowing he most likely was not. Which just left him utterly confused. 

“I can't bake...why do you even want a cake?” 

Bart never took Christian as a sweets person...or as a food person either. He had only seen him snorting coke, and not once during their “vacation” has he seen him eat food. 

Christian looked at Bart and then away towards the items.

“Isn't baking like art or something?”

He began to fidget.

“Whatever,” he threw the flour to Bart, who barely reacted in time to grab it, “just do it.”

Christian stormed off to go do whatever it was he does when he isn't asking Bart for art, snorting coke, or making videos.

Bart yelled after him, “Baking is a different sort of art! It's culinary!” but it fell on deaf ears. 

Bart looked down at the bag in his hand. He had noticed that Christian never answered his second question. He shrugged, realizing he'll eventually find out. Probably. 

He sighed and figured he should make the cake or else Christian would do something.  
Like sell his art work again. So much for number 1 fan. His only fan anyways.

“I am an artist and should be able to do all sorts of art, how hard can baking really be?”

As Bart looked around for a bowl an idea began to form in his head. He moved out of the kitchen and into the living room area of the house they were currently in. On the table was Christian’s stash. Without realizing what it was he was doing he grabbed the bag of cocaine and took it with him to the kitchen. He grabbed the bag of flour and stared at both bags.

I could switch the bag of cocaine with flour. ! Wait! What am I thinking? Christian would be so pissed and he'd definitely kill me then.

Bart wasn't the sort to go out on revenge for what people did to him. He was pretty sure one way or another he deserved it. He was also scared of the outcome and prefered to avoid scary situations. But he couldn't help but still feel strongly upset at Christian for selling his artwork. 

While a huge part of him was screaming at him to NOT do it, a small part of him that oddly sounded like Claire said to just fucking go for it.

He thought some more before he decided he was going to meet himself halfway and instead of switching the bags, he was just gonna add some flour to the cocaine. He was pretty sure he didn't need all of the flour to make Christian’s cake. 

Bart finally found a bowl, and dumped all of the cocaine into the bowl. He picked up the flour bag and opened it. He hesitated a bit before he poured nearly half the flour in. He mixed the two up, and realized it was hard to tell if it was mixed well enough.

Maybe this whole time Christian was just snorting flour. He laughed. 

He struggled to return the mixture into the bag, since it was overflowing with the extra flour added to it. He decided to just dump the rest on the table. He was pretty sure that Christian wouldn’t notice. 

With that being done he returned to the kitchen and began to work on the cake.   
\-----

Bart somehow managed to make the cake, with the help of the internet. He was even able to make his own frosting, like the true artist he is.

He figured he should tell Christian it was done at least. 

“Christian it's done!” he called out. Not really expecting a response since he wasn't even sure if the priest was in there.

He heard a door open, and then he heard footsteps making their way to the kitchen. Christian was at the doorway looking disheveled and slightly confused with his bloodshot eyes.

“What's done?” 

“Your cake! And it's,” he does that kiss pose thing, “Muwhaa, a true masterpiece! If I do say so myself.”

Christian looked from Bart to the cake. 

“Oh. It looks great or whatever.” He stared at it for a bit longer.

“What is it-” Bart began but was cut off by Christian who refused to look at Bart.

“I'm going to need coke for this.” He walked away with Bart trailing behind him waiting to see his reaction. 

Christian sat down next to the table, and made some lines. Bart held his breath as Christian began to snort and then stopped almost immediately. 

“What the hell!?” He immediately began to blow air out of his nose and started to cough out the mixture. 

Bart let out a chortle at seeing Christian spew out profanities. Which he immediately regretted when Christian turned to glare at him. 

“Fuck”

(Then Bart died. THE END.)

 

 

(Jk)

**Author's Note:**

> The cake can be for whoever you guys want ;3


End file.
